I have three older brothers. The second oldest, Les, does a lot of freelance work; usually some form of construction. He'll sometimes ask me to help him out, usually if it's something calling for a second pair of hands that don't have the slightest clue what they're supposed to be doing. I've learned a few things working with him like that, such as:
1) I am hilariously terrible with hammers. If I'm not hitting hard enough, I'm missing wildly, and if I manage to do both, the nail is at a 43.7ยบ angle from the surface it was being pounded into.
2) Have I mentioned the "No upper body strength" thing? Because that's come up a lot and I feel like it bears repeating.
3) If hostile invaders from beyond our sphere ever demand that I drill four screws into a board straight and do so in less than five minutes, or they will steal our moon... Well, I hope you all forgive me for ruining romantic strolls along the beach at night. And, y'know, the tides.
I'm not just bringing this up because I like advertising my weaknesses to help some extraterrestrial empire get a new decoration for their homeworld's sky. You remember those panels we were dealing with last time? Today we started hanging them. This is a process that involves a lot of drilling, both of the traditional sort and to put screws in place. Let me just say now that Jacob is a patient man.
Anyway, it's really not all that involved. See, we can't exactly mount the panels straight to the wall. For one, I don't think anyone wants to imagine the process from my last post with the additional complication of having to attach these panels to the wall without any debris getting between the cover and the graphic.* Besides that, though, it just wouldn't be very visually interesting, and that is even more unacceptable.
So, to overcome both of these issues, Jacob has a bunch of wooden panels that he cut. The idea is that one of us would pin the board to the wall while the other takes a drill to the board and brickwork behind. Then, while the board is still held in place and the holes are lined up, we use a hammer drill to punch a masonry screw into place. Then, using a level, we adjust the board until it's level, put in a second hole, and then keep putting screws in until the stupid thing stays flush with the wall. This process can take anywhere from four to six screws, plus a generous helping of cursing the stupid board that doesn't know how to just stay flat like a good inanimate object. Depending on the position, there may be a need to attach a second board using wood screws, which is more of the same, but with even less cooperation from the board.
In any case, once the board is sufficiently perforated, then comes the tape. Strictly speaking, I don't actually remember what it's called because it never occurs to me to read the labels on things, but it is more like putty attached to a red vinyl strip and I enjoy working with it because it justifies getting to legitimately use a straight razor (because that's the only way to cut off a strip once you have it in place). Anyway, this stuff is extremely adhesive, and and can easily hold the text panels up without even shrugging it. Which is great right up until the moment you realize that the panel is slightly askew and then you have to rip the stupid thing down and put up more tape.
But, at the end of the process, you can stand back and appreciate the beauty of a job well done. For, like, ten seconds, because there are twenty-seven more of those things that need to go up and you're going to feel bad if you saddle Jacob with having to hang more of them on his own than necessary in order to keep on schedule.
*This, by the way, would be a "complication" on the same order of those "complications" that kings in fairy tales put in front of suitors when said kings are determined to keep their daughter unmarried. If I ever have a daughter of my own, I consider this due warning for any of her potential boyfriends. You'll need to bring your own drill.
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